1
00:00:02,982 --> 00:00:04,609
Humbuglar: Ah!
Curtis: Ooh!

2
00:00:04,651 --> 00:00:06,069
Ah!

3
00:00:06,152 --> 00:00:08,446
[Grunts]
We got you, you son of a bi- shit!

4
00:00:08,488 --> 00:00:09,538
Finch is here too.

5
00:00:09,614 --> 00:00:11,074
[ Puck blasts ]
My bugs!

6
00:00:11,157 --> 00:00:12,450
[ Grunts ]
You fools!

7
00:00:12,451 --> 00:00:14,409
This Christmas,
your precious malls

8
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:17,497
will crumble under me -
The Humbuglar!

9
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:19,958
[ Laughs ]
Fat chance, Humbuglar.

10
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,667
And next time,
maybe pick a name

11
00:00:21,668 --> 00:00:23,544
that doesn't sound like
"The Hamburglar."

12
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,630
Who's that?
Who's... Bro, read a book.

13
00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:28,006
Eat a Big Mac.
Then he'd just be "the Hamburglar."

14
00:00:28,007 --> 00:00:30,552
Enough talk,
more ruined Christmas!

15
00:00:30,635 --> 00:00:32,094
In 11 seconds!

16
00:00:32,177 --> 00:00:33,638
[ Bomb ticking ]
11 seconds?

17
00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:34,931
You son of a bitch!

18
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:36,182
[ Screams ]

19
00:00:36,849 --> 00:00:38,393
[ Both grunting ]

20
00:00:38,394 --> 00:00:40,686
[ Humbuglar grunting ]
Humbug-deez nuts.

21
00:00:40,687 --> 00:00:42,814
No! No!
[ Bomb powering down ]

22
00:00:42,855 --> 00:00:44,983
[ Grunts ] Humbuglar!

23
00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,525
[ Glass shatters ]
Tell my story!

24
00:00:46,526 --> 00:00:47,776
Curtis: Shit!
[ Body thuds ]

25
00:00:47,777 --> 00:00:49,028
He crashed into the mall.

26
00:00:49,029 --> 00:00:50,862
11 seconds because he knew
that's how long

27
00:00:50,863 --> 00:00:52,373
it would take us
to stop him or...

28
00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:53,658
Who cares, O'Doyle?

29
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:56,369
He just fell on all those
Black Friday shoppers.

30
00:00:56,370 --> 00:00:58,412
[ Over speakers ]
? We wish you a Merry Christmas ?

31
00:00:58,413 --> 00:01:00,582
My God.
Where the hell is everyone?

32
00:01:00,583 --> 00:01:01,707
Mnh-mnh-mnh.

33
00:01:01,708 --> 00:01:03,333
Maybe everyone
caught on to how much

34
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:04,417
Christmas sucks m'dick.

35
00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,087
What? Christmas is the best.

36
00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:09,047
It's the one time where everyone
can feel the magic of childhood.

37
00:01:09,048 --> 00:01:10,549
Even if your childhood
was erased.

38
00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:12,302
It's a festival of lies, Banks.

39
00:01:12,385 --> 00:01:14,345
Holy Finch
on a hot tin roof.

40
00:01:14,429 --> 00:01:15,847
It's Christmas spirit.

41
00:01:15,848 --> 00:01:17,889
It's reached critical
depletion levels.

42
00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:19,141
Curtis: Christmas spirit?

43
00:01:19,142 --> 00:01:20,434
That's not like
a real thing, though.

44
00:01:20,435 --> 00:01:21,809
[ Chuckles ]
How pedestrian.

45
00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:23,521
No, it certainly
is a real thing.

46
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:24,897
It's a limited resource

47
00:01:24,898 --> 00:01:26,523
fueled by
interpersonal contact.

48
00:01:26,524 --> 00:01:28,942
Before computers,
there was spirit everywhere.

49
00:01:28,943 --> 00:01:30,111
You'd go to the store,

50
00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:31,612
see other shoppers
all bundled up,

51
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:33,780
witness the wonder
in children's eyes.

52
00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:36,701
But thanks to phones
and tech and pandemics,

53
00:01:36,702 --> 00:01:38,243
now it's just...
[blows raspberry]

54
00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:39,745
Just tell me
what's happening.

55
00:01:39,746 --> 00:01:41,556
The death of Christmas
as we know it.

56
00:01:41,581 --> 00:01:43,207
Okay...
No, I'm serious.

57
00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:46,711
Once we drop below
10% spiritonium saturation,

58
00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:48,880
it can never recover.
Fuck that.

59
00:01:48,881 --> 00:01:51,005
Christmas is not dying
on this president's watch.

60
00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:53,343
Uh, you're right,
because you have moi.

61
00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:54,927
Finch has got just the fix.

62
00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:57,847
Uh, what about this
splattered monster corpse?

63
00:01:57,848 --> 00:01:58,972
Oh, I got it covered.

64
00:01:58,973 --> 00:02:00,391
Just bought a large body bag.

65
00:02:00,392 --> 00:02:01,767
Should be here
between 2:00 and 5:00.

66
00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:04,145
Same day. Nice.
Not helping.

67
00:02:04,228 --> 00:02:10,568
??

68
00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:17,075
??

69
00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:23,706
??

70
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:30,129
??

71
00:02:30,213 --> 00:02:32,674
I hope you're ready,
because behind this door -

72
00:02:32,675 --> 00:02:34,466
It's the synthetic
super-soldiers

73
00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:36,093
you built to fight
the Grasshopper King.

74
00:02:36,094 --> 00:02:37,594
What? How did you know?
[ Gate beeps ]

75
00:02:37,595 --> 00:02:39,137
Because you took me
to this door last time,

76
00:02:39,138 --> 00:02:41,391
and the answer is still no,
dingus.

77
00:02:41,392 --> 00:02:43,767
I'm not releasing a bunch
of Bladerunners on America.

78
00:02:43,768 --> 00:02:46,521
They're super elite with
a fully programmable AI.

79
00:02:46,604 --> 00:02:49,564
The joy of Christmas
will be real to them, sir.

80
00:02:49,649 --> 00:02:50,817
Okay...

81
00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:52,359
Banks, no offense
to your robo brain,

82
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,111
but these fake military
bots can suck a D.

83
00:02:54,112 --> 00:02:56,530
Yeah, if we have to engage
in this magical bullshit,

84
00:02:56,531 --> 00:02:58,491
we should at least use
real people.

85
00:02:58,574 --> 00:02:59,951
People are the problem.

86
00:02:59,992 --> 00:03:01,119
They don't believe.

87
00:03:01,202 --> 00:03:03,413
This was Christmas spirit
30 years ago

88
00:03:03,496 --> 00:03:05,081
and this is today.

89
00:03:05,164 --> 00:03:06,582
We have until December 25th

90
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,459
to spread a super-human amount

91
00:03:08,543 --> 00:03:10,878
of actual, quantifiable spirit.

92
00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:13,171
Man, I wish there was
a battalion of super-humans

93
00:03:13,172 --> 00:03:15,173
around here somewhere
who could do that.

94
00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:16,633
Oh my God,
I'm actually, like,

95
00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:18,301
legit worried
about Christmas, you guys.

96
00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:21,180
[ Sighs ] If we do this,
I want failsafes on failsafes.

97
00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:22,473
Yes!
Wait, sir.

98
00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:23,890
Geo trackers,
remote detonators,

99
00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:25,058
bombs where their
dicks should be.

100
00:03:25,059 --> 00:03:26,769
Okay. Unnecessary.
Go on.

101
00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:28,895
We need to be able to pull
their plug at any moment.

102
00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:30,940
Oh, I always have
a dick bomb gun handy.

103
00:03:31,023 --> 00:03:32,525
But these are military bots.

104
00:03:32,526 --> 00:03:33,775
I'll need time to build them

105
00:03:33,776 --> 00:03:35,526
a new Christmas spirit
algorithm.

106
00:03:35,527 --> 00:03:37,070
Why reinvent the wheel,
Finch?

107
00:03:37,071 --> 00:03:38,905
If we want true
Christmas programming,

108
00:03:38,906 --> 00:03:40,408
we need to go to professionals.

109
00:03:40,409 --> 00:03:42,868
Secretary:
Welcome to Hallmark.

110
00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:44,412
Can I get you guys anything?

111
00:03:44,495 --> 00:03:46,305
Hot cocoa, scarves,
gingerbread?

112
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,749
I mean, it's 8 a.m.

113
00:03:47,832 --> 00:03:49,959
Ed: Never a bad time
for gingerbread.

114
00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:51,502
[ Chuckles ] Mmm.

115
00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:52,712
Fresh ginger.

116
00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:54,505
Sorry.
Where are my manners?

117
00:03:54,547 --> 00:03:57,008
[ Chuckles ] Ed Carol,
Head of Hallmark.

118
00:03:57,091 --> 00:03:59,969
Hey, has anyone ever told you
you look like Santa?

119
00:04:00,887 --> 00:04:02,013
Oh...

120
00:04:02,054 --> 00:04:03,347
Uh, well...

121
00:04:03,431 --> 00:04:06,017
I guess I have
put on a little weight,

122
00:04:06,058 --> 00:04:08,519
[chuckles] and I've been
graying on the sides.

123
00:04:08,561 --> 00:04:09,771
Uh. Anyway, uh.

124
00:04:09,854 --> 00:04:11,314
Come on, come on.
Walk with me.

125
00:04:11,397 --> 00:04:12,648
Are you crazy, Banks?

126
00:04:12,649 --> 00:04:14,065
Yeah, asking a guy
if he's Santa

127
00:04:14,066 --> 00:04:15,901
is like asking a woman
if she's pregnant.

128
00:04:15,902 --> 00:04:17,736
Come on, I can't be
the only one thinking it.

129
00:04:17,737 --> 00:04:19,530
You were.
Honestly, I'm disgusted.

130
00:04:19,531 --> 00:04:21,656
Thanks for squeezing us
in on such short notice.

131
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:23,242
Well, it wasn't that hard.

132
00:04:23,326 --> 00:04:25,077
Usually this is
our busy season,

133
00:04:25,161 --> 00:04:27,538
but lately,
it's been kind of dead.

134
00:04:27,539 --> 00:04:29,414
That's because
Christmas is dying, Ed.

135
00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:30,875
What?
You heard the man.

136
00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,417
Christmas is shitting the bed.

137
00:04:32,418 --> 00:04:34,336
Well, what exactly
do you want from Hallmark?

138
00:04:34,337 --> 00:04:35,755
We've got synthetic people

139
00:04:35,838 --> 00:04:38,068
ready to deploy like spores
to spread cheer.

140
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,591
But their AI
needs programming.

141
00:04:39,592 --> 00:04:42,011
True Christmas spirit
programming.

142
00:04:42,637 --> 00:04:43,687
You want to see it?

143
00:04:43,763 --> 00:04:45,139
The big holly-jolly?

144
00:04:45,223 --> 00:04:47,391
[ Gate thumping ]

145
00:04:47,475 --> 00:04:50,186
There she is.
Pretty, ain't she?

146
00:04:50,269 --> 00:04:51,478
Woah.
Holy shit.

147
00:04:51,479 --> 00:04:53,021
What am I looking at?
You invented this?

148
00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:54,524
[ Chuckles ] Oh, no, no, no.

149
00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,775
The prototype was created
by Jebediah Hallmark.

150
00:04:56,776 --> 00:04:58,151
He was hanging Christmas lights

151
00:04:58,152 --> 00:05:00,780
and got electrocuted
by a faulty bulb.

152
00:05:00,863 --> 00:05:02,573
When he woke up,
he had a vision.

153
00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:04,909
Of this.
O'Doyle: Lava lamp noodles?

154
00:05:04,992 --> 00:05:06,786
The Christmanthium core.

155
00:05:06,869 --> 00:05:10,059
Its generative algorithm can
create an almost magical amount

156
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:13,501
of ideas, characters,
storylines.

157
00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:14,669
All with one goal -

158
00:05:14,752 --> 00:05:17,338
to make the world
love Christmas.

159
00:05:17,421 --> 00:05:18,881
I brought thumb drives.

160
00:05:18,965 --> 00:05:20,591
[ Sighs ] I must admit,

161
00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:23,719
I'm hesitant to let
our proprietary algorithm

162
00:05:23,803 --> 00:05:24,971
out of this building.

163
00:05:25,054 --> 00:05:26,264
Look, I get it.

164
00:05:26,265 --> 00:05:27,931
But we've got total control
of these Synths.

165
00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:29,975
We can remote detonate
their dick areas at any moment.

166
00:05:29,976 --> 00:05:31,060
I vote for that.

167
00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:33,562
Way unnecessary, but yeah,
arm hud is locked and loaded.

168
00:05:33,563 --> 00:05:34,730
All right,

169
00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:36,606
but this data must
be destroyed after use.

170
00:05:36,607 --> 00:05:39,442
The programming will terminate
at midnight on Christmas Eve.

171
00:05:39,443 --> 00:05:40,570
Amen, brother.

172
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:42,487
Why don't you come
to the white House on Christmas Eve?

173
00:05:42,488 --> 00:05:44,322
We can watch them
terminate together.

174
00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:45,533
[ Both chuckle ]

175
00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:47,450
You've got yourself
a deal, Mr. Curtis.

176
00:05:47,451 --> 00:05:49,160
[ Gate whirs ]
All right, my babies.

177
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:51,914
Here comes the spirit train.
[ Squeals excitedly ]

178
00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:54,083
[ Synths beeping, ding ]

179
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,501
Synth Cindy,
love the hat.

180
00:05:55,585 --> 00:05:57,253
Ooh, and yes to the vest,
Marcus.

181
00:05:57,336 --> 00:05:59,297
Finch: Hot cocoa.
Hot cocoa. Hot cocoa.

182
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:02,216
And one for Finch,
because I fucking deserve it.

183
00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:05,803
[ Static whirs ]
All right, Greyson, go time.

184
00:06:05,804 --> 00:06:07,345
Synth Greyson: Mhm-hmm.
What's it doing?

185
00:06:07,346 --> 00:06:10,348
Finch: Scanning the vicinity
for maximum cheer scenarios.

186
00:06:10,349 --> 00:06:11,809
[ Synth beeps ]
Mhm.

187
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:13,477
Synth Greyson:
[ Humming ]

188
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,186
Ah!
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God. What the fuck!

189
00:06:15,187 --> 00:06:16,646
Watch where you're going,
asshole.

190
00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:18,399
Oh, no, no, no!
I'm so sorry.

191
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,191
I have the most important
meeting of my life

192
00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:21,277
in 20 minutes.

193
00:06:21,278 --> 00:06:23,570
I'm supposed to be selling
these unstainable yellow shirts,

194
00:06:23,571 --> 00:06:25,072
and now I look like a liar.

195
00:06:25,156 --> 00:06:26,866
God damn it.
This is a mess. Abort!

196
00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:28,451
No, sir. Watch.

197
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:29,827
Here. Take this.

198
00:06:29,828 --> 00:06:31,745
What? I can't wear this.
That's impossible.

199
00:06:31,746 --> 00:06:33,331
Sometimes a little impossible

200
00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:34,790
is just what we need.

201
00:06:34,832 --> 00:06:36,000
[ Chuckles ] Sorry.

202
00:06:36,042 --> 00:06:37,362
My grandpa used to say that.

203
00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:39,337
Wait. I kind of love that.

204
00:06:39,338 --> 00:06:41,463
Can I use that in my meeting?
Are you kidding?

205
00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:43,381
It's the least
my clumsy butt could do.

206
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:45,968
Good luck, and hey -
Merry Christmas.

207
00:06:46,052 --> 00:06:48,012
Merry Christmas.
[ Humming ]

208
00:06:48,054 --> 00:06:49,347
[ Laughter ]

209
00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:51,807
Damn, she just red-lined.
I felt it, too.

210
00:06:51,849 --> 00:06:54,352
I mean, I do want one
of those unstainable shirts.

211
00:06:54,393 --> 00:06:57,021
All right, Finchy.
Full deployment.

212
00:06:57,103 --> 00:06:58,564
[ Tires squeal ]

213
00:06:58,648 --> 00:07:01,525
??

214
00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:03,027
All right, game time.
Whoo!

215
00:07:03,028 --> 00:07:04,736
Get me eyes
on those geo trackers.

216
00:07:04,737 --> 00:07:05,863
Way ahead of you, boss.

217
00:07:05,905 --> 00:07:07,490
Uh, just ignore the blue dots.

218
00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:09,367
Those are places I masturbated.

219
00:07:09,368 --> 00:07:11,076
How are we looking
with Cindy in Boston?

220
00:07:11,077 --> 00:07:12,954
[ Grunts ] And perfect.

221
00:07:13,037 --> 00:07:14,997
Woah!
Pretty, right?

222
00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:17,959
Just my way of giving
the sidewalk a hug.

223
00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:20,044
Dad, could we give
our sidewalk a hug?

224
00:07:20,127 --> 00:07:22,046
Uh, I don't know,
I guess?

225
00:07:22,088 --> 00:07:23,798
Let me order some lights.
Why?

226
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,757
The store is selling
some right there.

227
00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,551
All right. Fine.
[ Giggling ]

228
00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:29,928
[ Bell chimes ]
Little turd thinks he knows everything.

229
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:32,098
Reminds me of
someone else I know.

230
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:34,350
Banks: Dayum.
Cindy bringing the merry.

231
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:35,684
I want to decorate
with her.

232
00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:37,185
That little kid
runs their house.

233
00:07:37,186 --> 00:07:39,063
Punch me in on Giselle
in San Diego.

234
00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:40,940
[ Snow machine whirs ]
What?

235
00:07:41,023 --> 00:07:42,400
My first snow?

236
00:07:42,401 --> 00:07:44,484
In all my life as a cowboy
turned beach bum,

237
00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:46,195
I've always wanted to do this.

238
00:07:46,196 --> 00:07:48,279
Ahhh.
Synth Giselle: No, no, don't eat that.

239
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,823
It's just ground up
paint chips.

240
00:07:49,824 --> 00:07:51,200
[ Spits ]

241
00:07:51,283 --> 00:07:52,493
[ People chuckling ]

242
00:07:52,576 --> 00:07:53,744
I ate that.

243
00:07:53,745 --> 00:07:55,495
[ Laughs ] Oh.
We all felt that, right?

244
00:07:55,496 --> 00:07:57,248
Sir, check out Chad
in Washington.

245
00:07:57,331 --> 00:07:59,959
The spiritonium levels
are off the charts.

246
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,626
[ Chainsaw whirring ]
No, no, a chainsaw.

247
00:08:01,627 --> 00:08:03,545
[ Chuckles ] You guys gotta
come down and see this.

248
00:08:03,546 --> 00:08:05,839
I swear, he's gonna cut off
his hand or something.

249
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,091
Five hot cocoas, please.

250
00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:08,383
My friends are coming down

251
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:09,676
in case this guy
cuts off his hand.

252
00:08:09,677 --> 00:08:11,302
I told my friends
the same thing.

253
00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:13,681
[ Laughs ] Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

254
00:08:13,682 --> 00:08:15,098
Finchy baby, you done did it.

255
00:08:15,099 --> 00:08:17,018
I did done do it, didn't I?

256
00:08:17,101 --> 00:08:18,269
What?
Whoo!

257
00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:20,103
Best Christmas ever.

258
00:08:20,187 --> 00:08:22,273
??

259
00:08:22,274 --> 00:08:23,940
Well, it's officially
Christmas Eve.

260
00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:26,609
And of course, the big story
is that feeling in the air.

261
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:28,279
Malls are full,
divorce is down

262
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,156
and people are roasting
chestnuts together everywhere.

263
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:33,491
Where the hell are all
these chestnuts coming from?

264
00:08:33,492 --> 00:08:35,578
There's so much joy
you almost forget

265
00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:37,121
Curtis is taxing our cum.

266
00:08:37,204 --> 00:08:39,457
Either way,
we are so back, baby.

267
00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:41,000
Merry Christmas, step-sis.

268
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:42,501
Merry Christmas, step-sis.

269
00:08:42,502 --> 00:08:44,252
So what are you bringing
to mom's house tonight?

270
00:08:44,253 --> 00:08:45,303
Her favorite - my dad.

271
00:08:45,304 --> 00:08:46,713
Congratulations, Greyson.

272
00:08:46,714 --> 00:08:47,714
Thank you for your service.

273
00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:49,174
Service is what
it's all about.

274
00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:50,593
That's why I sold my law firm

275
00:08:50,594 --> 00:08:52,343
to start a free snowman-making
school for children.

276
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,346
The secret is in
the carrot nose.

277
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:55,806
Amazing soldier.

278
00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:57,557
And you - Cindy, right?
Cindy: Mm-hmm.

279
00:08:57,558 --> 00:08:58,768
Thank you.

280
00:08:58,769 --> 00:09:00,185
My grandma,
who was a war nurse,

281
00:09:00,186 --> 00:09:01,561
and that's how
she met her husband,

282
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:02,897
she always said

283
00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:04,814
"The best thing
you can give is yourself."

284
00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,150
Wise words.
Here.

285
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,651
It's the least
I could give.

286
00:09:07,693 --> 00:09:09,278
What a fine carrot.

287
00:09:09,361 --> 00:09:10,738
Oh, hot cocoa bar.

288
00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:12,906
Pretty specific exchange
about that carrot.

289
00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:14,237
Sir,
just want you to know

290
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:15,785
we've got
a very robust team

291
00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:18,120
standing by to clean up
the synth bodies.

292
00:09:18,162 --> 00:09:20,632
Right. And, uh, what was
the deal with that again?

293
00:09:20,633 --> 00:09:23,041
Their programming will
terminate at midnight, remember?

294
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,751
You and Ed were, like,
high-fiving about it.

295
00:09:24,752 --> 00:09:26,252
Well, shit,
that kind of sucks.

296
00:09:26,253 --> 00:09:28,046
You could always tell them
they're gonna die.

297
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:29,714
It'll probably make them
go rogue and attack us.

298
00:09:29,715 --> 00:09:31,424
Then we'll have no choice
but to defend ourselves

299
00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:32,676
and take them out.

300
00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,385
Right, then it
wouldn't be our fault.

301
00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:35,706
You really get it, O'doyle.

302
00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:37,055
Your pitch
is victim-blaming?

303
00:09:37,056 --> 00:09:38,682
Dumb.
We should just talk to Ed.

304
00:09:38,766 --> 00:09:40,142
He's such a sweetie.

305
00:09:40,143 --> 00:09:42,227
Never a bad time
for gingerbread, huh, pal?

306
00:09:42,228 --> 00:09:43,918
[ Laughs ]
Now you're catching on.

307
00:09:43,979 --> 00:09:45,689
Congratulations,
Mr. President.

308
00:09:45,773 --> 00:09:47,983
I gotta say,
I can feel the spirit.

309
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:50,568
Couldn't have done it without
your programming, Ed.

310
00:09:50,569 --> 00:09:51,695
Look, I, uh,

311
00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:53,154
I was wondering
if there was a way

312
00:09:53,155 --> 00:09:54,823
that we could keep
the Synths alive.

313
00:09:54,824 --> 00:09:56,909
A deal's a deal,
Mr. President.

314
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,284
You're not gonna fuck me,
are you?

315
00:09:58,285 --> 00:09:59,495
What? No.

316
00:09:59,578 --> 00:10:00,663
We're just saying,

317
00:10:00,664 --> 00:10:02,163
it kind of feels
un-Christmas-like

318
00:10:02,164 --> 00:10:04,207
to kill them after
they saved the holiday.

319
00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:05,334
We had an agreement.

320
00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,043
I'm here to make sure
it gets done.

321
00:10:07,044 --> 00:10:09,380
Right.
No, I, uh, I get it.

322
00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:10,840
Thanks, Ed.

323
00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:13,216
[ Sighs ] I wasn't expecting him
to be such a hard-ass.

324
00:10:13,217 --> 00:10:14,468
I know, right?

325
00:10:14,469 --> 00:10:16,052
He kind of turned
awesome at the end.

326
00:10:16,053 --> 00:10:18,806
All right, time to play
Ghost of Christmas Future.

327
00:10:18,889 --> 00:10:20,141
[ Glass clinks ]
A toast.

328
00:10:20,142 --> 00:10:22,475
I just wanted to say how
thankful I am for you Synths.

329
00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:24,019
You not only saved Christmas,

330
00:10:24,103 --> 00:10:27,064
you boosted the economy
and made the magic real again.

331
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,357
[ Sighs ] And of course,

332
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,067
I'd be remiss
if I didn't say

333
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:32,110
you will all
self-destruct at midnight.

334
00:10:32,111 --> 00:10:33,571
That's great, sir.

335
00:10:33,572 --> 00:10:35,280
What?
No, I'm saying you'll die.

336
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:36,781
Your programming will terminate.

337
00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:37,908
Sir, I love giving,

338
00:10:37,992 --> 00:10:39,076
I'm just happy my life

339
00:10:39,077 --> 00:10:40,827
can culminate in
an act of service.

340
00:10:40,828 --> 00:10:42,620
The best thing
you can give is yourself.

341
00:10:42,621 --> 00:10:44,540
Hear, hear.
A fitting final mission.

342
00:10:44,623 --> 00:10:46,208
[ Laughs ] I love these guys.

343
00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:48,001
[ Synths cheering ]
Merry Christmas.

344
00:10:48,002 --> 00:10:49,461
Thanks for letting us die.

345
00:10:49,462 --> 00:10:50,879
[ Chuckles nervously ]
Well said.

346
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,090
If you'll excuse me
for a moment.

347
00:10:53,091 --> 00:10:54,465
Listen, guys,
if this is about

348
00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:55,884
the pink stain
in the library,

349
00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:57,094
no, it wasn't me,

350
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,263
and also, no,
it won't wash out.

351
00:10:59,264 --> 00:11:01,514
I can't do it.
I can't let those soldiers die.

352
00:11:01,515 --> 00:11:03,141
They're all
so selfless and pure.

353
00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:05,143
We have to trick Ed
into thinking they're dead

354
00:11:05,144 --> 00:11:06,284
and get them out of here.

355
00:11:06,353 --> 00:11:07,863
Sir,
even if we could trick Ed

356
00:11:07,864 --> 00:11:10,273
and fake their death -
which we absolutely can -

357
00:11:10,274 --> 00:11:13,527
the Synths are still gonna
love Christmas after Christmas.

358
00:11:13,528 --> 00:11:15,486
Yeah, people will murder them
just for that.

359
00:11:15,487 --> 00:11:16,487
Not if we put them in a place

360
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:18,199
with a base level of cheer,

361
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:20,784
gratitude and giving
that lasts all year.

362
00:11:20,868 --> 00:11:23,537
I'm talking, of course,
about Canada.

363
00:11:23,538 --> 00:11:25,163
Plus, it's chilly.
Perfect scarf weather.

364
00:11:25,164 --> 00:11:27,374
Hey.
Yeah, they'll blend right in.

365
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,834
It's like taking a dragon
back to dinosaur times.

366
00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:31,169
It doesn't really belong there,

367
00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:32,545
but the dinosaurs
aren't gonna notice.

368
00:11:32,546 --> 00:11:35,049
Wait, guys, is this
our first team hoodwink?

369
00:11:35,132 --> 00:11:36,300
Hoodwinked!

370
00:11:36,383 --> 00:11:38,969
? Fa la la la la,
la la la, hey! ?

371
00:11:39,053 --> 00:11:40,137
[ Synths cheering ]

372
00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:42,513
You hotties want another
public domain song?

373
00:11:42,514 --> 00:11:44,349
[ Synths ] Public domain!
Public domain!

374
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:46,143
Finch puck, make daddy proud.

375
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,853
[ Puck beeps, blasts ]

376
00:11:47,936 --> 00:11:49,480
[ Synths power down ]

377
00:11:49,481 --> 00:11:50,563
Huh?

378
00:11:50,564 --> 00:11:51,982
Wh-What the hell happened?

379
00:11:52,066 --> 00:11:53,317
It's only 11 p.m.

380
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,694
Oh, no!
Those are my friends.

381
00:11:55,778 --> 00:11:57,821
Ah, shit! Sorry, guys.
That's on me.

382
00:11:57,905 --> 00:11:59,531
Daylight Savings Time.
What?

383
00:11:59,615 --> 00:12:00,783
Yeah, I hate it.

384
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:02,242
All my tech is set
to spring forward,

385
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,994
because Finch
don't fall back.

386
00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:05,912
I'll make you fall back,
you son of a -

387
00:12:05,913 --> 00:12:06,997
Hey, don't blame me.

388
00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:08,456
I'm not the one
running a government

389
00:12:08,457 --> 00:12:10,459
that fucks with
our clocks twice a year.

390
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:11,835
So they've terminated?

391
00:12:11,836 --> 00:12:12,919
Oh, yeah.

392
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,087
And if it's any consolation,

393
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:15,923
it was extremely
painful for them.

394
00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:17,341
[ Sighs ] Sorry, Ed.

395
00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:19,008
I didn't mean to cut
the party short.

396
00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:20,636
No, no, no, don't apologize.

397
00:12:20,719 --> 00:12:22,763
As long as it's done,
I'm a happy man.

398
00:12:22,846 --> 00:12:24,848
All right, well,
that's a wrap.

399
00:12:24,849 --> 00:12:27,225
Let's get these synthetic flesh
sacks back into cold storage.

400
00:12:27,226 --> 00:12:29,216
Also, give it up
for our clean-up crew,

401
00:12:29,228 --> 00:12:31,105
working on Christmas Eve.

402
00:12:31,106 --> 00:12:32,522
Merry Christmas, everyone.

403
00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:34,024
God bless you all.

404
00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:35,776
[ Tires squeal ]

405
00:12:35,859 --> 00:12:37,152
[ Tire thuds ]

406
00:12:37,153 --> 00:12:39,445
Oh my God, Banks, do you
have to hit every pothole?

407
00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:42,096
I keep telling you to put
money into infrastructure.

408
00:12:42,097 --> 00:12:43,616
Finch, how are we
looking back there?

409
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,076
Just erased their
termination time.

410
00:12:45,077 --> 00:12:48,038
These babies are jailbroken
and ready to fly free.

411
00:12:48,122 --> 00:12:50,652
Also, I wasn't lying about
Daylight Savings Time.

412
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:53,043
I hate it.
You all should be ashamed. [ Beeping ]

413
00:12:53,044 --> 00:12:54,419
[ Synths gasp ]
Where are we?

414
00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:56,547
Is this Synth heaven?
Is it just a bus?

415
00:12:56,588 --> 00:12:58,882
Bus? Yes.
Heaven, who's to say?

416
00:12:58,924 --> 00:13:00,884
But I thought
we were gonna die.

417
00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:01,926
Not on my watch.

418
00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:03,428
Your war-nurse
grandma was right.

419
00:13:03,429 --> 00:13:05,096
The best thing you
could give is yourself.

420
00:13:05,097 --> 00:13:07,307
And soldier, you still have
a lot more to give.

421
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:09,018
We're taking you to Canada.

422
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:10,310
What?
[ Synths murmuring in confusion ]

423
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,895
The one on top?
[ Gunshots ]

424
00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:13,564
Curtis: Banks! The potholes!

425
00:13:13,647 --> 00:13:16,191
It's not potholes.
[ Engine roars ]

426
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,526
Oh, fuck, it's Ed!

427
00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:19,069
You made a deal with Hallmark.

428
00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:21,322
Our data must be eliminated.

429
00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:23,198
This guy really loves Hallmark.

430
00:13:23,282 --> 00:13:24,658
Just get us to the plane.

431
00:13:24,742 --> 00:13:26,910
[ Engines humming,
tires squealing ]

432
00:13:26,994 --> 00:13:34,001
??

433
00:13:34,126 --> 00:13:35,586
Jesus, he's a sideswiper?

434
00:13:35,669 --> 00:13:37,046
Sideswipe him back.

435
00:13:37,421 --> 00:13:39,423
[ Thuds, Ed shouts ]

436
00:13:39,506 --> 00:13:40,883
[ Explosion ]

437
00:13:40,966 --> 00:13:42,926
??

438
00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:44,678
[ Tires squeal ]

439
00:13:45,846 --> 00:13:48,599
Dear God, right into
that Lots O' Oil truck.

440
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,142
I didn't wanna
kill the guy.

441
00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:52,936
Just for the legal record,
I said to sideswipe,

442
00:13:52,978 --> 00:13:54,146
but you chose to do it.

443
00:13:54,147 --> 00:13:55,646
Still kind of
feel bad, though.

444
00:13:55,647 --> 00:13:57,274
Um, sir.

445
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,193
[ Grunting ]

446
00:14:00,569 --> 00:14:01,779
You should feel bad.

447
00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:04,656
You've all been very naughty.

448
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:07,326
I said it.

449
00:14:07,409 --> 00:14:08,799
I said Ed
looked like Santa

450
00:14:08,869 --> 00:14:10,371
and you guys shamed me.

451
00:14:10,871 --> 00:14:12,623
Also, holy shit,
he's Santa.

452
00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:13,916
Santa is real.

453
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,510
Hello, Andre.

454
00:14:17,544 --> 00:14:19,630
Rho. Francis. Kenny.

455
00:14:19,713 --> 00:14:21,632
Ed.
Call me Santa.

456
00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,967
Ed's my undercover
boss name.

457
00:14:24,051 --> 00:14:26,053
What?
Why are you working at Hallmark?

458
00:14:26,054 --> 00:14:27,970
As their Chrismanthium
technology grew,

459
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:29,431
so did my interest in it.

460
00:14:29,515 --> 00:14:31,809
I couldn't let just
anyone have that power.

461
00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:33,310
So I took over.

462
00:14:33,352 --> 00:14:35,145
Synths: [ Gasping ] Santa?!

463
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:38,107
Santa Claus!
Oh, it's a Christmas miracle.

464
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:39,274
Sorry, Cindy.

465
00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:41,652
We're all out
of miracles this year.

466
00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,737
They are the miracle dipshit.

467
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:45,155
You don't get it.

468
00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:47,031
If they're walking around
all year with Christmas spirit,

469
00:14:47,032 --> 00:14:50,202
it's not magical,
it's not special,

470
00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:51,995
and that puts me
out of Christmas.

471
00:14:51,996 --> 00:14:53,579
It seems like
what you're saying, Santa -

472
00:14:53,580 --> 00:14:55,039
thank you for being here,
by the way -

473
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,290
is that you want to retain

474
00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:58,001
full control over Christmas,

475
00:14:58,085 --> 00:15:00,671
which I'm sorry to say,
doesn't sound very giving.

476
00:15:00,754 --> 00:15:04,049
Sounds like
you're being...naughty?

477
00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,844
Wow, I've never
thought about it like that.

478
00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:08,052
[ All gasping, blade shings ]

479
00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:09,847
[ Synths gasp in fear ]
Greyson!

480
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,181
Finch: The fuck Santa?

481
00:15:11,182 --> 00:15:12,890
Get them into the plane.
Yes, sir.

482
00:15:12,891 --> 00:15:14,143
If he wants the Synths,

483
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:15,476
he's gonna have to
go through me.

484
00:15:15,477 --> 00:15:17,771
Sir, puck him up.
[ Puck whirs ]

485
00:15:17,772 --> 00:15:19,939
I never should have made
that deal with you, Santa.

486
00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:21,232
I didn't care about Christmas.

487
00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:22,400
I just didn't want to go down

488
00:15:22,401 --> 00:15:23,734
as the president who killed it.

489
00:15:23,735 --> 00:15:25,111
[ Laughs sarcastically ]
Yeah, okay.

490
00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,655
[ Whistles ]

491
00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:29,783
[ Sleigh whooshing ]

492
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,535
[ Laughs ]

493
00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:32,953
Oh, shit! Reindeemons!

494
00:15:33,036 --> 00:15:35,414
Run! Run!
[ Synth Steve screaming ]

495
00:15:36,623 --> 00:15:38,459
Oh, man,
we just started running.

496
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:39,792
Swapping to carrot-tipped.

497
00:15:39,793 --> 00:15:41,252
Wait,
don't they love carrots?

498
00:15:41,253 --> 00:15:42,379
Exactly.

499
00:15:42,421 --> 00:15:44,840
[ Reindeemons snarling ]

500
00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:46,884
Holy fuck,
that's not in the song.

501
00:15:46,925 --> 00:15:48,594
[ Both grunting ]

502
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,387
[ Blade shings, Santa laughs ]

503
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:56,560
??

504
00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:58,061
[ Wind whooshes ]

505
00:15:58,103 --> 00:15:59,730
[ Toys and coal clatter ]

506
00:15:59,771 --> 00:16:01,064
[ Santa hisses ]

507
00:16:01,106 --> 00:16:03,400
Oh, wait. Is coal
like garlic for Santas?

508
00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:06,403
Seriously, you didn't notice
back at the office?

509
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:08,417
You've got yourself a deal,
Mr. Curtis.

510
00:16:08,447 --> 00:16:11,742
Sir, look, I got the office
train set up with real coal.

511
00:16:11,783 --> 00:16:12,910
[ Hisses ]

512
00:16:12,951 --> 00:16:14,203
Uh...okay.

513
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:15,286
Huh.

514
00:16:15,287 --> 00:16:16,704
I didn't think anything of it.

515
00:16:16,705 --> 00:16:18,995
Coal channels the energy
from evil children

516
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:21,001
back to my patron, Pudersno.

517
00:16:21,002 --> 00:16:23,294
I spread the rock
in exchange for my powers,

518
00:16:23,295 --> 00:16:26,089
but the very touch of it
burns my soul.

519
00:16:26,131 --> 00:16:27,758
Maybe talk longer next time.

520
00:16:27,759 --> 00:16:28,841
[ Grunts ]

521
00:16:28,842 --> 00:16:30,427
[ Sizzling ]
Ah! My soul!

522
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,596
Pudersno! Save me!

523
00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:34,515
[ Flesh ripping ]

524
00:16:35,849 --> 00:16:37,267
Shit, I'm out of c-tip.

525
00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:39,310
[ Reindeemon growls,
Synth Cindy groans ]

526
00:16:39,311 --> 00:16:40,938
Merry Christmas?

527
00:16:40,979 --> 00:16:42,397
Hey! Hey!

528
00:16:42,439 --> 00:16:44,729
Come build a snowman,
you soulless bastard!

529
00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:47,236
Chekhov's carrot.
Cindy! What are you doing?

530
00:16:47,319 --> 00:16:48,639
Cindy: Get them to Canada!

531
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:51,448
And when those deer get me,
blow them to hell!

532
00:16:51,449 --> 00:16:52,823
Oh, fuck.
These guys are incredible.

533
00:16:52,824 --> 00:16:54,243
Shit. You heard her.

534
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:55,619
Go! Go, go!

535
00:16:55,661 --> 00:16:57,412
[ Beeping ]

536
00:16:57,496 --> 00:16:58,622
Grandma!

537
00:16:58,664 --> 00:16:59,790
I'm coming!

538
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:01,133
[ Reindeemons growling ]

539
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:02,876
[ Explosion ]

540
00:17:03,502 --> 00:17:05,003
[ Grunting ]

541
00:17:05,087 --> 00:17:06,296
That all you got, Santa?

542
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:07,464
[ Laughs ]

543
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:08,757
[ Whistles ]

544
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,133
Oh, man.

545
00:17:10,175 --> 00:17:11,260
Rudolph?

546
00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,221
[ Grunting ]

547
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,307
You son of a...

548
00:17:17,349 --> 00:17:19,017
[ Grunts, nose shatters ]

549
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,150
[ Thuds ]

550
00:17:20,226 --> 00:17:22,020
[ Electricity crackling ]

551
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,233
Who's bright now, bitch?

552
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,235
[ Laughs ]
Santa: Rudolph!

553
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:29,736
Rudy, no!

554
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,280
Talk to me.

555
00:17:31,281 --> 00:17:33,531
Oh, come on, buddy,
you're my best and brightest.

556
00:17:33,532 --> 00:17:36,159
I-I don't even like
the other ones.

557
00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:37,995
I'm gonna make you pay.

558
00:17:38,036 --> 00:17:39,288
You son of a...

559
00:17:39,371 --> 00:17:41,123
[ Plane whirring ]
What? No!

560
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:42,256
No.

561
00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:44,459
No!

562
00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:46,253
[ Plane whirring ]

563
00:17:46,254 --> 00:17:47,420
O'Doyle: You all right, sir?

564
00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:48,964
I mean, I almost got gored

565
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:50,924
by a cybernetic demon deer,
but -

566
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:52,676
Wait, what are you guys doing?

567
00:17:52,677 --> 00:17:54,135
Deactivating their dick bombs.
[ Beeps ]

568
00:17:54,136 --> 00:17:55,928
It's our last element
of control over them.

569
00:17:55,929 --> 00:17:57,139
They're finally free.

570
00:17:57,222 --> 00:17:58,724
Merry Christmas.
Here here.

571
00:17:58,807 --> 00:18:00,142
A Christmas miracle.

572
00:18:00,143 --> 00:18:02,226
Guess we won't be
needing this anytime soon.

573
00:18:02,227 --> 00:18:04,021
I'll just put it down here.

574
00:18:04,022 --> 00:18:05,438
They still love Christmas?

575
00:18:05,439 --> 00:18:08,025
Even after Santa tried
to murder them? Twice?

576
00:18:08,066 --> 00:18:09,568
I mean, I'm pretty bummed,

577
00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:11,152
but I'm not gonna
let that asshole

578
00:18:11,153 --> 00:18:12,863
control my love for Christmas.

579
00:18:12,904 --> 00:18:15,198
That belongs to me.
And me.

580
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,534
And m- nope, sorry.

581
00:18:17,535 --> 00:18:18,826
Got swept up in the moment.

582
00:18:18,827 --> 00:18:20,457
Don't love it.
Respect it? Maybe.

583
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:22,580
That's the spirit.
Don't push it, Giselle.

584
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:23,748
[ Loud thump, alarm blaring ]

585
00:18:23,749 --> 00:18:25,124
Uh, sir,
we got an ice storm.

586
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:26,793
Came out of nowhere.

587
00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:27,927
[ Sleigh whooshing ]

588
00:18:27,961 --> 00:18:29,212
[ Grunts, laughs ]

589
00:18:29,296 --> 00:18:30,505
[ Ice cracking ]
Uh-oh.

590
00:18:30,589 --> 00:18:31,798
Everyone hold on!

591
00:18:31,882 --> 00:18:33,812
[ Laughs ]
You think you can outrun me?

592
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:36,345
I am notoriously mobile.

593
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:37,428
[ Synths screaming ]

594
00:18:37,429 --> 00:18:38,555
Sir, I got it.

595
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:39,890
[ Grunts, door slams ]

596
00:18:39,973 --> 00:18:41,642
You crazy ass warlock.

597
00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:43,060
[ Grunts ]
Oh, shit!

598
00:18:43,143 --> 00:18:44,519
What the fuck, man?

599
00:18:44,603 --> 00:18:47,064
You killed Rudolph
and Donner and Blitzen.

600
00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:49,149
You killed Greyson
and Cindy and Steve.

601
00:18:49,232 --> 00:18:50,484
None of them matter.

602
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:51,902
They matter to us.

603
00:18:51,903 --> 00:18:53,986
[ Overlapping chatter ]
O'Doyle: Holy shit, Banks!

604
00:18:53,987 --> 00:18:56,281
God damn this hood
and its blindspots!

605
00:18:56,282 --> 00:18:58,282
I just injected your spine
with a dick bomb.

606
00:18:58,283 --> 00:18:59,951
You kill the Synths
or any of us,

607
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:01,327
that shit will auto-trigger

608
00:19:01,328 --> 00:19:02,870
and blow your
jolly ass to hell.

609
00:19:02,871 --> 00:19:04,081
Please, I'm immortal.

610
00:19:04,164 --> 00:19:05,794
Oh,
warlocks can regrow heads?

611
00:19:05,832 --> 00:19:07,642
You might want to check
with your DM.

612
00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:09,753
[ Alarm beeping ]

613
00:19:09,836 --> 00:19:10,921
It's Christmas.

614
00:19:11,004 --> 00:19:12,297
I set a timer
on my phone

615
00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:14,424
and it uses
a watch alarm sound.

616
00:19:14,425 --> 00:19:15,841
You gonna go deliver presents,

617
00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:18,428
or is Hallmark gonna
be looking for a new CEO?

618
00:19:18,512 --> 00:19:20,555
[ Ice shatters ]

619
00:19:20,639 --> 00:19:23,392
You always were
a naughty child, Rho.

620
00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:26,520
[ Wind whooshing ]
Stockings filled with coal.

621
00:19:26,603 --> 00:19:28,605
Wait, you -
you visited me as a kid?

622
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:29,773
You were in my house!

623
00:19:29,815 --> 00:19:31,024
Wait, where did I live?

624
00:19:31,108 --> 00:19:32,317
Who were my parents?

625
00:19:33,276 --> 00:19:35,070
[ Whistles ]

626
00:19:35,153 --> 00:19:36,405
[ Grunts ]

627
00:19:36,406 --> 00:19:37,530
[ Laughs ]

628
00:19:37,531 --> 00:19:40,200
Ho ho ho ho ho
ho ho ho ho!

629
00:19:40,283 --> 00:19:42,411
Ho ho ho ho
ho ho ho!

630
00:19:42,412 --> 00:19:45,621
Probably not going to get
much info about my parents

631
00:19:45,622 --> 00:19:47,164
after the dick bomb thing, huh?

632
00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:48,291
I'd guess no.

633
00:19:48,292 --> 00:19:49,834
Honestly, that's what
you get for trying

634
00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:52,254
to squeeze canonical stuff
into this mission.

635
00:19:52,337 --> 00:19:54,131
[ Plane whirring ]

636
00:19:54,214 --> 00:19:55,757
[ Tires squeal ]

637
00:19:56,714 --> 00:19:59,760
Synth Giselle:
This is Canada?

638
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:02,013
Well,
this is a field in Canada.

639
00:20:02,097 --> 00:20:03,807
We couldn't land at an airport

640
00:20:03,808 --> 00:20:05,891
because we're kind of doing
an illegal border crossing.

641
00:20:05,892 --> 00:20:07,602
But hey,
the Canadian PM owes me

642
00:20:07,686 --> 00:20:09,688
for letting him copy
my NATO homework.

643
00:20:09,689 --> 00:20:12,022
Thanks for putting your life
on the line to save ours.

644
00:20:12,023 --> 00:20:14,133
[ Sighs ] We put your life
on the line first.

645
00:20:14,192 --> 00:20:16,278
I guess some lies
are worth protecting.

646
00:20:16,361 --> 00:20:17,654
Do not quote me on that.

647
00:20:17,696 --> 00:20:19,531
Montreal is about
a mile that way.

648
00:20:19,614 --> 00:20:20,824
Spread out. Blend in.

649
00:20:20,866 --> 00:20:22,701
Also, please
don't go Bladerunner

650
00:20:22,702 --> 00:20:24,118
and come after
your creator

651
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:25,169
and crush my head.

652
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,746
Is that what happens
in the movie?

653
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:29,037
Maybe we need to expand
our programming data

654
00:20:29,082 --> 00:20:30,250
beyond Christmas.

655
00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:32,252
All: No, no no.
Just stick to being you.

656
00:20:32,253 --> 00:20:33,669
Synths: Okay.
Oh, good. Yeah.

657
00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:34,720
Whatever.

658
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:36,046
And hey, nice work, soldiers.

659
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:37,632
Canada is lucky to have you.

660
00:20:37,674 --> 00:20:40,177
Merry Christmas.
Synths: Merry Christmas, sir.

661
00:20:40,218 --> 00:20:43,472
??

662
00:20:43,473 --> 00:20:45,014
Actress: Topher,
after swapping bodies

663
00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:47,184
with that snowman,
I finally get it.

664
00:20:47,185 --> 00:20:49,769
I don't need New York
or my high profile dentist job.

665
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:53,690
I just need you for Christmas
and for always. Mm.

666
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,150
Way to settle.

667
00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:56,526
Hey, guys.

668
00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:58,736
Merry Christmas.
Both: Merry Christmas, sir.

669
00:20:58,737 --> 00:21:00,112
I'm still bleeding
under my bandages,

670
00:21:00,113 --> 00:21:02,991
but I'm happy to be
spending it with you both.

671
00:21:03,074 --> 00:21:04,701
And I guess you too, Finch.

672
00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:06,161
Although, to be clear,

673
00:21:06,162 --> 00:21:07,745
you're only part of
this sentimental moment

674
00:21:07,746 --> 00:21:09,998
because you were randomly
on this mission.

675
00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:11,166
It's fine by me.

676
00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:12,583
Actually,
can we get another round?

677
00:21:12,584 --> 00:21:14,002
It's 7 a.m. on Christmas.

678
00:21:14,003 --> 00:21:16,086
Yeah, you're right.
Make it a triple-double.

679
00:21:16,087 --> 00:21:17,380
Heavy on the pink stuff.

680
00:21:17,381 --> 00:21:18,923
Really keeping
that spirit alive, huh?

681
00:21:18,924 --> 00:21:20,549
[ Laughter ]
Oh, I'm fully empty inside.

682
00:21:20,550 --> 00:21:22,886
I'll drink to that.
I don't want to die alone.

683
00:21:22,928 --> 00:21:24,262
Ha, we're fine.

684
00:21:24,346 --> 00:21:25,597
[ Laughter ]

685
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,599
[ Indistinct conversations ]

686
00:21:27,682 --> 00:21:34,689
??

687
00:21:34,773 --> 00:21:38,777
??

688
00:21:42,239 --> 00:21:49,245
Curtis: ? It's the greatest time
of year for everyone else ?

689
00:21:49,246 --> 00:21:53,542
? I miss picking out
my own tree ?

690
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:57,754
? I still love my ex wife ?

691
00:21:57,796 --> 00:22:04,761
? Take those feelings,
swallow them down and sing ?

692
00:22:04,762 --> 00:22:07,471
And from all of us
here at Six News,

693
00:22:07,472 --> 00:22:10,100
we want to wish you a happy
and healthy New Year.

694
00:22:10,183 --> 00:22:11,393
I'm Carolyn Gladyssmer.

695
00:22:11,476 --> 00:22:12,978
And I'm Mika Gladyssmer.

696
00:22:13,061 --> 00:22:14,271
We may be stepsisters,

697
00:22:14,312 --> 00:22:16,565
but we are fully
related to your news.

698
00:22:16,566 --> 00:22:18,816
Director: And cut! We're clear.
[ Bell rings ]

699
00:22:18,817 --> 00:22:20,359
Hey,
what are you doing after work?

700
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,319
You want to braid my hair?
Carolyn on the air.

701
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,738
Not out here.

702
00:22:23,739 --> 00:22:26,156
Then on the air next time,
do you want to braid my hair?

703
00:22:26,157 --> 00:22:27,576
Good girl, Boo Boo.

704
00:22:27,659 --> 00:22:29,160
Did you get any of that?

705
00:22:29,210 --> 00:22:33,760
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0